Exploding Egg

B Horror Bonanza: Mister Frost

Back by popular demand — well, OK, one person asked me — I bring you my return to writing reviews and creating drinking games for bad B horror films.

Bad movies can be like a fine wine, especially when you drink a lot of cheap wine while watching them — and they are a ready vehicle for you to practice both your chugging prowess and your wit.

It’s been 13 years since I wrote my last one of these, and believe me, a lot of bad movies have come out since then. But before delving into new material, I thought I’d kick off with an oldie, but actually a half-way decent flick — Mister Frost, starring Jeff Goldblum.

The film, which came out in 1990, is available to watch instantly on Netflix — so there’s no need to fret about not being able to find it, unless you’re a total Luddite.

So cover your mouth, or let somebody else do it, and get ready for some good old fashioned devil drama.

Kathy Baker and Jeff Goldblum star in Mister Frost

Our film, Mister Frost, starts out as a lovely tale of two friends enjoying an afternoon motorcycle ride across the English countryside.

Er, what?

Yeah yeah, it’s true, but don’t give up yet.

As the day winds down, the riders come to a majestic estate and decide to go for a stroll, into the garage of one Mister Frost (played by Goldblum), to steal his Aston Martin.

After spending a few quality minutes inside the mist-filled garage, they open the car door — and out pops the arm of a random dead guy.

So, being very civic minded robbers and all, they leave the place and go tell the police.

About a week later — but fortunately only a few seconds in movie time — one Inspector Detweiler (played by Alan Bates) shows up, complete with one of the most bizarre looking hairstyles this side of 1976.

I’m serious. The guy has a grayer than gray beard coupled with blacker than black flowing locks. Can you say toupee? If it’s not a toupee than surely the devil really has worked his magic on this film.

Anyway, the good inspector shows up to find Frost hanging around in his back yard with a shovel. He had to take a break from preparing baked Alaska in order to bury the body, after all.

The inspector and Frost avoid the subject of mass murder in favor of casual conversation first, though, as is proper English custom, or so I’ve been told.

But after a while the inspector — good God, what is with his hair? — politely mentions the tale from the two would-be robbers.

“Oh yes, the body. I just was finishing burying it when you showed up,” Frost tells him politely.

“Yes, that’s just the kind of answer I was expecting,” our British friend with the weird hair replies.

But soon enough inspector hair realizes that Frost isn’t kidding — especially when the arm of another body flops out from behind a chair.

They really need to make better storage areas for those estates. Where is one to put 24 bodies?

Frost, after a dreamy glimpse of him with sinister-looking crosses in his pupils, is taken into custody, where he remains silent for two years as he’s transferred between various European locations.

When we return to him, we find the inspector still has really baffling hair, only he’s no longer an inspector — he’s become God boy, and he’s telling everybody who will listen that the mass-murdering Frost is, in fact, the devil.

But of course the scientists and psychologists at the asylum where Frost has been transported don’t believe in the devil, or God — only in research and study.

Fortunately for their intellectual advancement, though, Frost decides to break his two-year hiatus on speaking by trying to convince Dr. Day (played by Kathy Baker) to be his therapist.

She’s the most scientific of the scientific types, after all, which is what he’s after.

The devil wants to convince her to believe in him — and kill him — in order to destroy science’s hold over man.

“You (scientists) took a few years and undid centuries of effort,” he tells at one point. “You couldn’t care less about the human spirit. I must reveal to the world your impotence in the presence of the age old power of the wild thing.”

God I hope he doesn’t mean the same Wild Thing that Tone Loc once sang about.

Anyway, when he tries to impress her by melting her ring in his hand, all he gets is a typical blow off reply:

“Bravo, you’re going to be a smash at our little Christmas party,” Day tells him.

What follows is a lot of creepy, close-in eyeball shots of people falling under Frost’s spell, a host of random odd and sometimes murderous behavior by fellow patients and staff, and a parade of really bad clothing and hairstyles from the late 80s and early 90s.

Did we really look like that back then? Eeek.

I can’t reveal the ending or whether she decides to off him in favor of 17th Century justice, but fear not — for I do have a drinking game for you all to follow as you enjoy the movie.

First: Drink a gulp whenever the director closes in on any character’s eyeballs.
Second: If you see crosses in anybody’s eyeballs, finish your entire drink.
Third: Chug anytime you find yourself wondering about the inspector’s hair. If you get up from your chair and find yourself typing “Alan Bates” and “hair” into a search engine — finish two more drinks.
Fourth: Drink any time you hear the words devil, Satan or anything else along that vein.
And Fifth and Finally: Drink every time you want to backhand the head shrink, Professor Reynhardt (played by Roland Giraud). I didn’t mention him in the review, but he’s hard to miss.

Enjoy! And happy Drinking!
-SueVo

If you have Netflix, you can find Mister Frost available for instant play here.

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April 11, 2010 - Posted by | B Horror Bonanza, Reviews | , , ,

6 Comments »

  1. Can’t resist a story about absolute evil beyond the reach of volition. And bad hair to boot! Added to my Netflix queue.

    Comment by Amedeo | April 12, 2010 | Reply

  2. Sweet! Yeah it’s a great little film — and mostly unknown 🙂

    Comment by SueVo | April 12, 2010 | Reply

  3. Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about!

    Comment by GrapeStomper | April 12, 2010 | Reply

  4. Just watched it on Netflix today, and I could barely get through it. Horrible acting, more horrible direction, and the only thing that kept me watching was… holy crap, Jeff Goldblum was HOT back then, wasn’t he? He almost manages to offset the hair disasters of Kathy Baker and Alan Bates, not to mention the animated scarecrow that was Baker’s brother.

    Comment by LeeAnn | July 1, 2010 | Reply

  5. Thanks for the comment LeeAnn. I actually really like the film, despite the bad hair and all that. But it really is all Jeff Goldblum. He’s just so damned creepy in it. And hot, lol.

    Comment by SueVo | July 1, 2010 | Reply

  6. Very good review for one of my favorite movies.

    Comment by DWhite | February 11, 2011 | Reply


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